Bird’s Eye Chili


Usual disclaimer: I’m still not an artist, sorry.

Yesterday, after the meeting, my phone battery had died. (Tragedy!) I was waiting for my rides to finish talking so I could go home and charge my phone. Meanwhile, my friend, who was sitting next to me (we really shouldn’t sit next to each other in meetings, maybe–but maybe it wouldn’t make a difference) was showing me this app she has called Shake It Make It. When you shake your phone, it gives you a recipe. The more you shake your phone, the spicier the recipe is. She shook her phone a lot. What showed up was a recipe that called for Bird’s Eye Chili.

Now, I like to eat hot sauce. I love spicy food. My mom says it’ll give me cancer (it may, so many things do nowadays), but I eat it anyways. But I am not familiar with my chilis. I just eat them. I don’t think about them.

I’ve never heard of Bird’s Eye Chili before. What an odd name for a chili pepper. I asked my friend what it was. She is quite knowledgeable about foodstuffs. I am not. I asked her if it was chili that grew in a bird’s eye. She gave me the affirmative. Or maybe she told me that it was chili that grew in a bird’s eye. And I marveled at such a phenomenon. I forget exactly how it went. Both are rather plausible. Either way, that was our conclusion.

What followed after that was our usual ridiculous hypothesizing.. The explanation that she gave was that the chili was a parasite. When a bird eats the chili, the parasite travels to the bird’s eye. It then zombifies the bird so that the bird will infect other birds. And the chili spreads that way.

This made perfect sense to me. Then I followed that when the chili ripens, it pops out of the bird’s eye. Kind of torpedo-like, possibly. And then it aims for other birds and infects them. Upon half a second’s worth of consideration, it makes perfect sense that parent zombie birds feed these to their live offspring. It’s the perfect scenario. While the baby birds are opening their mouths so wide to be fed by the parent, the chili shoots out into the baby bird, thus beginning the cycle all over again.

Obviously, it takes time for the parasite to fully develop within the bird’s body and then travel to the eye and then zombify the bird while developing chilis to infect other birds. During this time, the baby chicks mature and grow, and eventually have their own offspring whereupon the parasites have the opportunity to infect more birds.

This makes perfect sense. Zombification of only certain body parts seem to happen all the time. I am living proof of it.

And I have also included illustrations. As I have noted earlier, I’m still not an artist. But I did try implementing my newly learned skill of kawaii drawings.

Introducing: The Bird's Eye Chili

Explanation of how this particular parasite works

The chilling spread of the Bird's Eye Chili (pun was not intended, but now it is)

In case you don’t know about parasites and how they work, you may go here. Also for some further (and questionably more trustworthy) information about the Bird’s Eye Chili, go here.

Also, as another Public Service Announcement, I would highly recommend that you don’t eat fowl that are infected with the Bird’s Eye Chili. I don’t know that there are any documented cases of humans acquiring the parasite from eating birds with it, but I would play it safe, just in case.

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