The Productivest


I didn’t write yesterday because I was being too productive. So I decided to be less productive today and write about being productive. I’m just going to pretend I wrote this yesterday.

Wait, it’s not Wednesday today? I totes thought it was Wednesday! Ohmigosh, you’re so messing with me!

Anyways. I am the productivest. Would you like proof? Of course you want proof. Here it is:

cherriebb515: We are a pair of super productive people.
moosterkey: The productivest.
cherriebb515: We are so productive it hurts.
              We physically cause people pain because we are that
              productive.
moosterkey: hahaha
            Do we hurt ourselves being so productive?
cherriebb515: I don't think so.
              Haven't sensed anything yet.
              Maybe it's a delayed reaction.
              I've been okay so far, you?
moosterkey: I think I'm ok.
            I might have a sore taste bud, I think that's from
            accidentally burning my tongue and not from being so
            productive.
cherriebb515: Yeah.
              That's probably why I'm usually the only one in my
              cubicle.
              People feel pain when they're around me.
moosterkey: hahaha
            Your very presence causes them pain!
            The productivity just emanates from your being!
cherriebb515: Because I am the productive?
moosterkey: From afar, they are just mildly nauseated by your
            productivity!
cherriebb515: Right.
              so they usually hang out in the next cubicle.
              But not in this one.
              It's the only possible reason.

You see? A conversation of my friend and I is obviously the only proof text you need. Besides the fact that people shy away from being in the same cubicle as me. There’s no other possible reason for them to hang out in the next cubicle.

That pain that you’re sensing when you’re standing next to me as I’m spouting nonsense or otherwise busy with various gadgets? Obviously pain from me being so productive. Obviously. Doesn’t it all make sense now?

Anyways. Here’s a side note:

cherriebb515: I think the hot cheetos are making me more productive.
              There must be a secret here,.
moosterkey: But what if you become immune to the effects?
cherriebb515: I guess I can't eat hot cheetos that often.
moosterkey: It will probably give you cancer anyway.
cherriebb515: Probably.
moosterkey: You know, productivity probably causes cancer too.
cherriebb515: Possible side effect includes death?
              Do you think it causes cancer in those that are suffering
              pain or the productive one?
moosterkey: Probably both.
            Pain probably causes cancer.
cherriebb515: Therefore we shouldn't be too productive.
              I wonder if there is a threshold.

You know, now that I think about it, the productive and the overwhelm might be related.

Advertisements

Say something! Make me laugh!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s