In the Throe of Woe

I am currently in the throe of woe. To clarify–yes, that is a singular throe. I figured that if you can be in the throes of something, you can also be in the throe of something. Anyways. The reason I am in the throe of woe is because alas! I have missed Monday’s post. And I didn’t have anything for today. But now I do!

I was lamenting to my friend earlier tonight that I’m in the depths of the throe (singular) of woe (also singular) because I haven’t had anything to write on Monday (which, by the way, was a remarkably busy day) and I hadn’t had anything today. And as I was expounding on how I could be in the throe of woe, she informed me that I should make it a post. So here I am, barely making it on Wednesday to put this post up. But I think I should be able to do it. Huzzah!

Anyways.  In my lamentation, I was informing my friend that I was violently drowning in a pool that is the size of several Olympic sized pools all filled with not just woe, mind you, but the essence of woe. I was violently drowning in the throe of the essence of woe that filled an enormous pool. While drowning, I was hyperventilating and thrashing about and there was not a life saver to be seen, candy or otherwise. In fact, I’m not sure how one is to be saved from woe. It seems like a painful and violent way to die.

So how did I collect this tremendous amount of the essence of woe? It has become apparent to me, as of tonight, that I am obviously a woe magnet. I am a magnet of woe. Woe is just attracted to me in an alarming fashion. And because woe is so attracted to me and I don’t know what to do with it, I dump all of it into a swimming pool that has been expanded over time to be quite large. Well, in case you weren’t sure, it’s hard to have such a large swimming pool indoors. So it’s an outdoor pool. Obviously, with an outdoor pool full of woe the sun is shining on it and liquid evaporates. After all the liquid evaporates, what do you have left? You’re left with the essence of woe.

Somehow, I have gathered enough woe that there would be such a large amount of the essence of woe. And also somehow, strangely enough, I found myself planted in the middle of it all and violently drowning with no sign of safety.

And I guess, because I made up enough nonsense complaining about how I was post-less, I suddenly became post-un-less. Sort of. If you can understand what I was trying to say, then five points to you for understanding Sheri-speak! Huzzah! Pat yourself on the back!


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