Fake England

Last night, I had dinner with a few friends. One of the beverages served at dinner was a peach aloe vera drink. The name of the drink has since slipped my mind, but we were unclear as to exactly what language the drink was trying to inform people of its name. Did that make sense? Whatever. But it was made by a Korean company, and it had Korean and then words composed of the English alphabet, but we weren’t sure exactly what language it was. So one of the persons sitting at the dinner table said that it must be Fake English. This is very key.

Fake English is obviously a language. Plenty of people speak Fake English. Sometimes even I speak Fake English. But if Fake English is a language, then there must be a place where they speak it. The obvious conclusion, then, is that Fake English comes from Fake England. Fake English is not American English, regardless of what the British might think. American English is probably fake English. But Fake English is a completely different matter. If you would read the labels of most anything that comes from Asia, you would understand that. But that’s a later point.

Anyways, after a brief discussion of Fake England, the conversation moved on. Somehow, and it baffles me as to why came up at all, the subject moved onto the ridiculous hats worn by the English. Whereupon, I began musing about whether or not they wear fake hats in Fake England. My friend immediately turned to me and said, “Do you think they wear fake hats in fake England?” Obviously, our minds think alike.

Which leads the point that there are a lot of implications to consider about fake England. As we began to discuss this involved subject further, and were thereupon ignored by the rest of the table, we decided a few things. Fake goods come from Fake England. Fake sugar, like artificial sweeteners, also comes from Fake England. Something like Sugar in the Raw is probably not from Fake England. We also considered whether something that was double fake, like if there were fake-fake goods, would actually work somehow like a double negative and actually mean that it’s real. (Are you following?) This was a truly important discussion, because this means that we’ve again very scientifically discovered another phenomena–the origin of fake goods.

Since a lot of fake goods are sold in Asia (and I heard also in Italy, and I’m sure other places as well), we decided that there must be portals to Fake England in these areas of large concentration of fake goods. It is as of yet unclear whether or not Fake England is a mirror of England. Anyways, the portals to Fake England must be wear all the fake designer handbags and clothing come from. That’s the obvious source. That’s also why a lot of these goods have things written in Fake English. It makes complete sense. It also makes sense that a lot of people from these areas have hints of Fake English. They’ve probably spent some time in Fake England learning Fake English. I wonder if they knew they were in Fake England.

Which led us to consider whether Fake England had fake colonies, and if there was a Fake America, and if so, did they have a fake Revolution? Which in fact, would not have been a revolution at all, in which case it would be a fake colony still? You see, the implications of Fake England go very far. The entire world’s history could be changed by the fact that we’ve discovered Fake England!

Anyways. I think I need to ponder this some more.


4 thoughts on “Fake England

  1. Pingback: Fake England (via Life's Homilies) « Random moosages as I see fit.

  2. Pingback: Fake England (via Life’s Homilies) « Random moosages as I see fit.

    • yes.. you have found the most delicious drink on the market today,., the brand is YOGO VERA from south korea

      it comes in several flavors.. my fave is lychee.. also mango abd cocnut.

      I live in Hawaii and we have nothing like this made locally

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