How to Grow a Moustache


I know that I will never, ever grow a moustache. And I have absolutely no desire to grow one. I would just like to clarify that to you all, in case you are a little confused about my interests in facial hair. So why the fascination? Simply put, I’m amused by facial hair and the things that men do with facial hair. It’s really fun. Honest. You’ll have to see the rest of this post to believe me.

For those of the male species that can actually grow facial hair (as opposed to people who can only pull off maybe the Fu Manchu through several, several years of painstaking growth), I would like to encourage you to participate in the Beards and Moustaches World Championship. According to the website, bearding is a sport. So all of you sports fans, maybe you should look into bearding! Don’t worry, this years competition has already passed, but you can always try for next year. If you would win this, I would be very, very proud of you.

Here are some pictures of the winning beards/moustaches. I’m just going to put a few of my favorites.

The Dali Moustache

The Chevalier

The Partial Imperial

Freestyle

See? So interesting and amusing! Now, back to text. I think that’s enough beard/moustache pictures, although there are many more that amuse me.

For those of you who have no idea what it takes to grow a beard/moustache and how to maintain one, I would recommend a book for you. My friend recently bought me a book as a present. It’s called The Moustache Grower’s Guide.

I'm only going to show you the cover so you know what to buy. Go buy the book yourself. You'll feel that much more dedicated to moustache growing.

If you are interested, you should buy the book.

The book, which I’ve only browsed through, but as of yet, have not had time to read in detail introduces the art of growing a moustache to the reader. My friend, upon stumbling upon this book, first thought of me (I wonder why). So she decided to get it for me as a present. I was very cherished by it.

Anyways, I’ll sum up the table of contents, so you know what’s actually in the book. It tells you what tools you need, the basics of shaving and grooming, and knowing your face. Here, I’ll quote a little from the book:

“There’s no trick to growing a ‘stache–all you have to do is stop shaving. Styling a look you’ll be proud of, on the other hand, takes a little know-how.”

And where do you get this know-how? From this handy little book. Through this book, I was introduced to the different moustaches, ranging from the Natural, the Crustache, the Toothbrush, the Chevron, the Pencil, the Painter’s Brush, the Horseshoe, the Walrus, the Pyramid, the Fu Manchu, the Handlebar, the Dali, the Hungarian, the Imperial, the English, and the Mario. There are also moustache combos, which include but are not limited to the Lumberjack, the Buffalo Bill, the Shakespeare, the Barbershop Special, the Aeronaut, the Lenin, the full Circle, the Musketeer, and the Burnside.

If you are the slightest bit interested in what any of the above look like, I suppose you can Google it. But to know how to grow them? You better get your hands on this little moustache book.

And as I conclude my review and recommendation of this book, I’d like you all to sing the following in your head:

“Take a look, it’s in a book, the Reading Rainbow!”

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