The Overwhelm

Cue suspenseful music with a melodious yet severely concerned female voice speaking, punctuated by dramatic pauses. Scenes of sad people looking despondently out of windows, children standing helplessly in a yard, and the elderly bleakly sipping cups of tea flash by.

Have you ever felt nausea, headaches, increased tiredness, bouts of anxiety, soreness in your joints, or shortness of breath? Do you suffer from an  increasing sense of nervousness, stress, hopelessness, depression, cheerlessness, depletion, or overextended resources? If your answer is yes to any of the above, you probably have a case of the overwhelm.

My name is Sheri, and I am here to inform you of a severe medical condition called the overwhelm. My personal testimony is that I didn’t realize I had a case of the overwhelm until recently. By then, I was already in the throes of the overwhelm, and for me, it is too late. But I would like to help you and others realize the extreme situation facing America and the world today. Too many have suffered at the hands of the overwhelm. Millions have died not even realizing they had contracted it. Today, I would like to help you and others realize what it is, and what we can do to stop it.

Death by overwhelm has afflicted humankind for thousands of years. I’m sorry to say that once you have it, it’s a chronic disease, and studies have shown that it is terminal. As of yet, there is no cure for it. Scientists have decided that it’s very likely that there will never be a cure. The only sure way of stopping the overwhelm is knowledgeable prevention.

What is the overwhelm? The overwhelm is an abstract condition, and scientists are still trying to pinpoint exactly what causes it. Symptoms of the overwhelm include tiredness, anxiety, insomnia, emotional outbreaks, fits of anger, bitterness, depression, and many, many more.

Depending on one’s environmental situation, one may develop it early on–say, in high school years or possibly earlier–but for many, it develops after they enter the work force. Often times, it is aggravated by important life events such as marriage, children, or a death in the family.  In fact, studies show that having children is a surefire way to increase the severity of the overwhelm exponentially–even if having children is a joyous event. Even things like a promotion or a demotion will trigger the overwhelm.

The overwhelm is something that slowly builds up over a period of time. Most invalids don’t even realize they’ve developed the overwhelm until it’s too late. This is truly a tragedy.

What can we do to stop it? For many, they will never be able to implement this solution. But now that you know what it is we are dealing with here is what you can do. Please do this before it is too late. First, you must stop all activity. Just stop. Drop your work and all responsibility. Next, you must go home and sleep. Sleep for days or weeks, or even months. After that, you may want to find some way to escape from your community, workplace, society, and probably family. You may even need to escape from yourself. Otherwise, the overwhelm will return, and probably in stronger waves than ever before. If you can manage all of the above, you are probably on the right track.

Thank you for listening. Together, we can stop the disease that is ravaging the world. If you would like to include your testimonial, please submit it below.

Warning: Side effects of the prescribed solution may result in job loss; strained relationship with family, friends, coworkers, neighbors; psychological distress; poverty; loss of home; and in extreme cases, death.


3 thoughts on “The Overwhelm

  1. Pingback: Midlife Crisis (Part 1) « Random moosages as I see fit.

  2. Pingback: Midlife Crisis (Part 2) « Random moosages as I see fit.

  3. Pingback: The worst at adulting | Random moosages as I see fit.

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