The Center for Disease Control Has Something Important to Say


In fact, they have something terrifyingly important to say. So important that they wrote an entire article about it. So what is this really important thing? Ahem. We need to be prepared for a zombie apocalypse.

No, I’m not making it up. Honest. Really. Scout’s honor and all that (even though I was never a scout). Want the proof? Here it is.

Yes, like you, at first I thought it was not the real Center for Disease Control. Maybe it’s a made up one. But no. This is the Center for Disease Control (CDC) of the United States of America. See that logo on the bottom right hand corner of the page? Also, when you click the banner for the CDC home page at the top, it takes you to the real, genuine CDC website for the USA.

So what does this tell us? Well, first of all, you need to read the article. That way, you can be prepared for a zombie apocalypse too. Notice that the article doesn’t actually say that it will happen. It merely says that we ought to be prepared for it. Well, we ought to be prepared for a lot of things (anyone ready for May 21st, which is tomorrow?), and I guess a zombie apocalypse is one of those things.

Secondly, we can sleep that much more soundly in our beds at night knowing that our government is aware of such a threat and ready to act when a zombie apocalypse actually occurs. Don’t you feel better knowing that our government is concerned with all the possibilities that we could die? Aren’t you relieved? I know I sure am. Potentially, if we were prepared enough, it would be like this and the following pages (It’s amazing how much Dr. McNinja is applicable in our normal, daily life).

By the way, I thought that the picture of family members meeting by the mailbox was very crucial to understanding how to pick a location. But it’s probably a bad location since it’s in wide open space and zombies could probably see you from far off and you’d be eaten while waiting for the rest of your family. Either that or you’ll wait for your family as a zombie.

Also, does anyone know where my local zombie response team is?

Okay, everyone! You have been informed! My job here is done.

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