Today, I saw a real live pirate.


Today I saw a real live pirate!!! Honestly. He was so real. He was really alive. Evidence? Here he is:

We found him outside the Walmart shopping center on Euclid.

Please note the tricorne hat and sloppy mode of dress as well as his pirate boots. He was probably sign throwing because his mates abandoned him on dry land. By the way he’s walking (or about to), he definitely still has his sea legs about him.

He even had a pirate-y mode of transportation:

I think he's wearing a pair of Converse shoes/sneakers/whatever they are and not pirate boots. So sad.

See that? Jolly Roger on his bike. Definitely a pirate. What else could he be?

Though he doesn’t quite match up to Guybrush Threepwood, a swashbuckling pirate, I would give him an A for effort. He’s trying not to cut people’s throats and steal their booty for a living. It must be awfully hard to be a pirate and not steal other people’s treasures for a living.

I SAW A REAL LIVE PIRATE TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Correction: Upon more detailed inspection of the pictures, Mr. Pirate is not wearing pirate boots. His fellow pirates must have stolen them when they left him asleep on land. Poor guy.

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2 thoughts on “Today, I saw a real live pirate.

    • Verizon is probably run secretly by pirates and so he is temping for them before he can get on another ship. I’m pretty sure that’s it.

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